Part Three: The Experience

My top two fear projects were Samantha George and Matt Eaton. These both stood out to me for similar reasons, I could relate to them on a personal level.

Samantha discussed the fact that she’s never been in a relationship, neither have I. I have experienced the opposite sex just not in a full blown relationship. I think the more time that passes the harder it is to get in one. But I do agree with her in the way that she feels like she’s missing out and missing experiences which in turn could affect creativity especially from my stand point since experiences mold my personal creativity.

Matt’s fear was being judged by people. He said one thing in particular, that he takes on different “alter egos” if you will, to adjust to people he meets so they will like him. It honestly really does take some real will power to completely be yourself around others or in social situations. I’ve grown so much in the past year or so and really come to realize, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I also really liked what he said about there’s so much pressure on society to be an outgoing, talkative person. This really resonates with me in the fact that I don’t really like talking all that much. I’m more of an observer so it definitely feels like I’m on the outs when it comes to social situations and it overall affects my place in the world. It absolutely urks me when someone calls me “shy.” Shy has nothing to do with it. It’s called there are people on this planet that just don’t like talking and are action oriented people. I’m not a charasmatic person so I try to keep my mouth shut.

I wish I could have expanded on my own project more but I think nerves and fear hindered the full experience. When Matt was talking he was very nervous and anxious so it made me look at my project and think sheesh it’s not like everyone wasn’t nervous I could have rolled out a smooth project and not gave any fucks about what “might” happen. It’s about getting someone to relate to you cause you never know what impact you could have on someone just by sharing your world.

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